An exciting moment in someone’s life is making a new friend; being able to find someone who can bring a new perspective or similar interest into your life. Having a new friend can deepen your understanding or confirm rudimentary principles of getting to know someone. The process of making a new friend is always exuberant, however, the extensive buildup of developing a friendship is actually an art.
The more time you spend together with a friend, the more information and discoveries are exchanged to deepen the relationship. This is a mutually beneficial process for both parties; each person can learn and develop their individual thoughts to better their future encounters. But this only scratches the surface of building the friendship from the basic form. Friendships are not just about all the good and happy moments that one experiences, there are also the unhappy moments that arise.
When a friendship is rattled by the abrupt nature of discontent or chaos, one must consider the problem in a bigger picture. The act of being calm and thinking rationally helps diffuse the tension and focus on a solution. If you are unable to be calm because of the situation, take the time to resolve yourself and discipline your thoughts. Should the friendship with another person be important to you, then taking the time to consider your feelings about the friendship is your resolution.
Of course, not all friendships last and lose traction when hit with a significant hurdle. The question that usually happens is: why did the friendship end? According to Shasta Nelson, friendships have a ratio of positive and negative attributes. For every negative interaction in a relationship, five positive interactions must take place. This is undoubtedly a steep ratio to maintain. Even if the ratio is one answer, there is always another to be found.
Taking the time to find your own answer is just as important as maintaining a friendship. An answer to the conflict is dependent upon the situation that the relationship is currently going through. Solving the conflicts or discontent in a relationship is a strong way to strengthen a relationship as a whole. However, to continue to have a strong friendship even without conflict is hard. Relationships tend to backfire drastically with a term called “over-giving”.
In the YouTube video by Teri Cole Real Love RevolutionsTM, over-giving means that either you or the other person is overly invested in the other person’s life. In other words, your friend’s life is more important than your own or vice versa. This is an unhealthy “positive” impact on a friendship because a person is sacrificing something without realizing the consequences.
One consequence of being an over-giving person is that you are being taken advantage of without realizing. Your friend could be using you as a situational person for free things or their interests. Another form of consequence of being an over-giving person is satisfying your own happiness with falsification. The over-giving person is not receiving genuine happiness for their actions and continues to try and make their friend happy instead.
The art of understanding friendships is a precariously trivial act of kindness and brutality. The relationship bond that you have with someone could be everlasting or situational. An important thing to always keep in mind is how you can impact a person’s life. Whether the impact was genuine or a mess, keep trying to find new and unique ways of interacting with others to become friends with many different people. In the end, getting to know people is a reward that can only be limited by your inability to socialize.
The name “Pondersaur” means “words with a roar” alluding to the creature’s distinct communication.
